A Season of Winter

This winter has been a season of snow, ice and darkness – not only outside of our house but also inside my heart.

I say that with my head hung, because I have enjoyed the light and warmth of having a walk with the Lord that sustains me and fills me with the proverbial fire that has made me shine for God.

So what happened?

As I have struggled with depression, anxiety and feelings of failure, I must question what have I done wrong? Where did that peace go?

Two years ago, I could get up every morning and write about the amazing ways that God was working in my life. Now, I am going months between writings.

What has changed?

In the last days, I have been searching God, asking Him why and pleading for Him to restore the joy that I have known in Him.

Give ear to my words O Lord,

Consider my meditation.

Hearken unto the voice of my cry,

My King and my God.

For unto to Thee will I pray.

My voice shalt Thou hear in the morning.

For Lord in the morning,

Will I direct my prayer,

Unto Thee and will look up.

(based on Psalm 5)

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Day by day. Funny how God works. Over this season of winter, my answer has often been, “I get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other. Every day is a choice to believe that God is sovereign.

Day by day. Ecclesiastes tell us that for everything there is a season. I am coming to understand that there is even a time for a season of winter. What could be the purpose for this cold bleakness?

Perhaps, what God is trying t teach me is that He is the God of every season.

I can’t even begin to imagine this season without the hope and strength that God offers me as I trust in Him. To face this alone – it would utterly crush me.

I think that what God is giving me right now is fulfillment of His promise,

Deuteronomy 3:16

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

In my season of winter, I will wait on my God.

El Shaddai, all sufficient One; source of all my blessings, all powerful. My problems are not too big for God.

Nothing in God’s Word tells me that my life will be easy; lollipops and daffodils. But, His name promises that Jehovah Jireh will provide;

that El Roi is the God who sees me and

that El Olam, the everlasting God is also Immanuel, God with me.

This winter, I turn to Adonai, the LORD, Elohim, the all-powerful Creator,

El Elyon, the God most high, in whom I can put my trust.

My prayer for both myself and any of you who may be struggling to survive in a season of winter is that we might

Turn our eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

That the things of earth

May grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace.

Helen H. Lemmel